Madison's First Year: Lessons Learned

We are way too close to my baby girl's first birthday. This impending milestone has brought so many thoughts and feelings, so I wanted to document them. Here is the first installment of "Madison's First Year."

When Maddie was just one month old, I wrote a post about what it means to be a new mom. I talked about emotions, multitasking, sacrifice, and a lot in between. Now that I'm a seasoned pro with a whole 11 months of motherhood under my belt (please, note the sarcasm), I realize that those first month feelings never really went away - I just added to the list and they graduated from Being a New Mom Means to Lessons Learned in the First Year of Parenting...

1. Babies are on a constant suicide mission and it is our job as parents to keep them alive. Keeping your baby alive isn't as easy as it sounds. Feeding them and caring for them is a walk in the park compared to the other obstacles that stand in your way. For example, their favorite toys are anything they aren't supposed to have (including, but not limited to, dad's pocket knife, finger nail clippers, dog toys, etc.). They put EVERYTHING in their mouths. They try to fall off furniture. Over, and over, and over again. They fall down and hit their head multiple times a day. You're probably thinking, "Wow, Jenna's a terrible mom for letting her child do these things." I would have said that, too. But I'm telling you, no matter how closely you watch them, they will happen.   
2. Kids make liars out of you. The minute you tell someone, "She's the best sleeper!" or, "She never spits up!" Be prepared to eat your words because they will not sleep at all that night and they will spit up all over the outfit you just changed them into because they spit up on the last one, too. Don't jinx yourself. Cover your butt by using verbiage like, "She's been a good sleeper so far, but I know babies are always changing!" It might sound crazy, but you'll thank me later.
3. Postpartum hair loss is very real, and very not cute. I had no idea I was losing my hair. When I was pregnant, my hair did not shed at all. If you know me, you know I shed. A lot. Heck, I have enough of it - I can stand to lose some! The shedding returned after I had Maddie, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. A few months later, I noticed the "wings." Apparently, my hair fell out in CHUNKS along my hairline, starting at both ears and around the back. So, in case you need a visual, that means I can't wear my hair up without looking like a crazy person that doesn't know how to control her weave. In conclusion, I now always look like a crazy person that doesn't know how to control her weave because honestly, who even has time to care about their hair.
4. You WILL sleep again. It's everyone's favorite warning to new moms; "You'll never sleep again!" First of all, shut up. That's not helpful and you're just adding fuel to the fire. Second, yes you will! When Maddie was four months old, she got sick. Really, really sick. She basically stayed sick for two whole months. In those two months, I never slept for more than 3 consecutive hours at a time. I work full time and I have to be in my office at 7:30am, and most of the time we got our best sleep starting at 4am. Payton would find me in the kitchen curled up on the floor at 2am crying because, at the time, I couldn't see how I could possibly make it through the day. Spoiler alert: I did make it through those days, and now we all get full nights of sleep. In the thick of it, it seems like the tough days are never going to end. But they do end, and life becomes more normal. And if you're an absolute lunatic like I am, you might even grow to miss those middle-of-the-night cuddles... 
5. Time flies. I'm not talking about back in high school when you thought "the best four years of your life" flew by. I'm talking about time going by so fast you literally can't even remember full months out of your recent life. September didn't exist for me. May was full of so many milestones, it seems like a complete blur. Maybe the difference is, now you have a physical reminder of how quickly everything changes. One day you have a tiny, fragile newborn baby that is peaceful and innocent, and the next day you have a rambunctious 11 month old that knows exactly what she wants and won't stop until she gets it. (I mean it... she points at what she wants and if you don't get it right, brace yourself for your punishment). One day you're worried that your baby will never learn to roll over, and the next day she can crawl up two flights of stairs in 30 seconds flat. LIVE FULLY IN EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. Even the bad ones. Write everything down. Take too many pictures. Your sweet baby will not be exactly the same the next day, and you'll want to look back on those precious moments in time.
6. It's impossible to stay mad at your baby. No matter how many times you tell them no when they are splashing in the dog's water bowl, or when they are pulling the neatly folded clothes out of the laundry basket, or when they continue to feed the dog their dinner, or when they swat the spoon full of mashed sweet potatoes out of your hand, spraying them across the kitchen, it is impossible to stay mad at your baby. Those tiny tornadoes know exactly which face to put on when you start to get flustered, and all of the anger and frustration just can't help but melt into smiles and laughter. There have been many days in the last year that I've gone to bed feeling overwhelmed and defeated, but then morning comes and I get to walk into a quiet nursery where a precious little girl is standing in her crib, smiling as big as she can, waiting for me to kiss her squishy cheeks. The weight of the stress from yesterday doesn't stand a chance in that very moment.
7. It takes a village. Surround yourself with people that love you and love your baby. We are so incredibly lucky to have my parents so close to us, and I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't have been able to get through this first year without my mom. If you don't have family close, do not be afraid to try daycare or hire a babysitter! Taking a break can be life changing, and necessary for your marriage, health, and sanity sometimes. Madison has been in part time daycare since she was 12 weeks old, and she's turned out wonderfully. You shouldn't have to parent alone, so don't. Trust and rely on your spouse. Keep your good friends close (you'll learn very quickly who is in it for the long haul). Accept help when it's offered, or seek it out if it's not. Build your village and know you're no less of a parent for surrounding your child with even more people to love them. 

That concludes this installment of "Madison's First Year." Stay tuned for next week's topic: Key Words from Year One.

The personality on this one... How did we get so lucky? (7 months)